Coffeehouse Christianity

I love the power of small groups.  In a small group, people are known, loved, accepted, challenged, and served.  But here’s my problem with most small groups…they are primarily educational not transformational.

For the past 20 years churches have been moving adults away from the classic Sunday School model and into home-based small groups.  Unfortunately, the only substantive change was the location and time of our meetings.  We may have a bit more group discussion and ice breakers, but we have essentially taken the Sunday School model (based on the educational model given to us by society) and moved it into our homes.

Now don’t get me wrong…I’m all for people gathering together to study the Bible.  But if this is all we do, I think we are missing some of the latent power of small groups.  What if - in addition to studying the Bible - our small groups participated in a variety of transformational experiences?

• Working together in a soup kitchen
• Leading the worship & teaching at a chapel service in a homeless shelter
• Doing a prayer walk around their communities
• Hosting a block party so they could connect with the un-churched
• Preparing & taking meals to shut-ins
• Host a “love feast” (the Lord’s Supper - Jude 12)
• Adopt-a-block to make sure people have the basic necessities (food, clothing, bedding & toys for kids)
• Travel together on an overseas missions trip

What are some transformational experiences you have experienced - or would love to experience - with your small group?

“Never Church As Usual”……I have some friends who work for a church that uses this slogan as it’s marketing tag-line.  I’ve always loved this tag-line as it hints at mystery, intrigue, expectancy.  What are we going to experience when we come to church today?  How will we encounter the Living God in new and fresh ways?  What is the next incredible thing the church is going to do to draw us into the presence of God?

I am working away from the office today.  We are moving into a phase of Vision Development for the future of Great Oaks.  To that end, I have been seeking God’s face through prayer & journaling in an attempt to brainstorm potential next-steps for us as a church.  In the coming weeks, the leaders of the church will be meeting to formalize our plan and then share it with the church in early 2010.

As part of my brainstorming process, I have been curious about what other churches are doing that would exemplify the “Never Church As Usual” slogan.  Guess what I found out?  Very few churches are doing anything Unusual.  We all have the same common elements…

• Weekend Services
• Children & Student Programming
• Adult Small Groups
• Local & Global Missions

So where is the Unusual aspect of church?  I realize the worship-language during services may be different, the children & student curriculum may vary, the small groups may focus on a variety of topics, and the missions may meet a wide array of social needs…but in the grand scheme of things, every church seems to be Unusually Usual.

Is there something more that should be present to make the church Unusual?  Or do we simply strive to be more Unusual in the Usual areas?

Just some thoughts I am pondering this afternoon…

(And please understand that I am talking about Organizational Development.  I am working under the assumption that Jesus is our focus, the Holy Spirit is present, the Word is our guidebook, love & faith abound, and spiritual disciplines are actively embraced to draw us deeper into an intimate relationship with God.  Just thought I would save some of you from commenting on the Usual objections when I write posts like this!)

I spent the entire day in Springfield, IL yesterday hanging out with fellow Small Groups Pastors from Illinois & Indiana.  One of the things I enjoy the most is being able to sit down with guys & gals who are “in the trenches” of small group ministry just as I am.  We all have different churches and different ministry environments, but the core issues we deal with are often universal.

If I were to boil down a days worth of conversation yesterday, it revolved around the topic of spiritual formation - the process of helping people grow in their walks with God.  As one pastor worded it, “we need to find ways to challenge people to take ownership of spiritual growth.”

As we talked around that topic, a few key thoughts came out…

• We need to utilize some sort of spiritual assessment tool to help people measure their spiritual growth.  The inherent difficulty here is that you can’t measure things such as increases in love, peace, joy…these are all subjective evaluations.  Therefore, whatever assessment a church were to use would need to incorporate both objective (church attendance, hours spent serving, tithing, etc) and subjective (hope, faith, patience, kindness) factors.

• We need mentors.  Men & women need to have older men & older women speaking into their lives.  We need to gain the insights and experiences and wisdom of people who have gone before us.  And older people benefit as well with a renewed sense of purpose and significance.  (We’ll be addressing this topic in an upcoming session of Men’s Fraternity.)

• Taking the need for mentors into consideration…we need to reconsider the benefit of small groups that are multi-generational.  Rather than gathering people together who are all in the same life stage (i.e. young couples), we need to combine together men & women who are at different ages and different levels of spiritual maturity.

There were many more take-aways from our conversations yesterday, but these three thought seemed to dominate our conversation.  I’ll write more later about my personal take-aways as they relate to Great Oaks.

We launched Men’s Fraternity two weeks ago, and we have consistently had over 60 guys showing up on Wednesday mornings from 6:00-7:30am.  It has been humbling to see the guys stream through the front doors each session.  We are also preparing to launch a Saturday morning version for guys that can’t make the Wednesday sessions.

I have been a part of men’s groups for over 12 years.  Most of them have been limited to 10-12 guys meeting at a local coffeeshop on a weekly basis.  These gatherings have helped to shape me into who I am today.

I am looking forward to giving these 60+ guys an incredible experience this year as they discover what it means to be a spiritual leader in their homes, churches, communities, and workplaces.

Karen to Ethan: “Hey buddy…I’m cutting some more box tops for you.”

Me: “Are those the Box Tops for Education?”

Ethan: “No…they’re for school.”

Karen & Me: much laughter and explanation

I am really looking forward to the 2009-2010 kick-off event for our High School students!  MXTC is a two-day experience on the campus of Great Oaks.  Throughout the weekend, teams of students will compete in multiple physical & mental challenges.  And it all comes to an end in the mud pit when the teams go head-to-head in mud volleyball and tug-o-war!

Can’t wait for the fun to begin……….

Last night I was talking with Ethan about a swimming party taking place tonight for all of the boys who played baseball in Germantown Hills this summer.

Ethan: “So what time is the swimming party?”

Me: “From 8:00-10:00pm.”

Ethan: “I don’t really want to go.”

Me: “Why not?”

Ethan: “Well…my bedtime is 8:00pm and I’m usually asleep by 9:00pm.  I think I’ll just be too tired.”

Me: [shocked silence for a moment] “You are the oldest 7-year old boy I know!”

I thoroughly enjoyed sitting at the feet of some incredible leaders during the recent Leadership Summit hosted by Willow Creek Community Church.  I joined several other leaders from Great Oaks for the simulcast at Northwoods Community Church in Peoria.  Here are some of the quotes that jumped out to me as I re-read my notes in my teaching journal.  As you can see, I have a lot to process from this conference!

• “We cannot make it rain, but we can make sure it rains on prepared soil.” - Henri Nouwen
• “Nobody comes to church for a mild dose of God.” - Bill Hybels
• “The pace at which I’m doing God’s work is destroying the work of God in me.” - Bill Hybels
• “First impressions are often wrong.” - Carly Fiorina
• “The most important gift you can give someone is candor.” - Unknown
• “The kindest form of management is the truth.” - Unknown
• “Every organization is successful until it isn’t.” - Gary Hamel
• “The future is not unknowable; it is simply unpalatable.” - Gary Hamel
• “The job of leaders is to convince people that change is more exciting than standing still.” - Gary Hamel
• “The longer you are in the trenches, the easier it is to mistake the edge of your rut for the horizon.” - Gary Hamel
• “You get to be a leader when people choose you to be a leader.” - core philosophy at Gore-Tex where there is no formal leadership structure
• “The lack of spiritual vitality [in church members] is the greatest frustration of pastors.” - Tim Keller
• “Religious people want more things.  Gospel people want more of God.” - Tim Keller
• “You can’t stay angry or bitter with someone unless you feel superior.” - Tim Keller
• “Great poets show; they do not tell.” - Unknown
• “If darkness is present in your community, you are not the light.” - Harvey Carey
• “God has called us to build a church that is contrarian.” - Dave Gibbons
• “The world will notice when we love those not like us.” - Dave Gibbons
• “The people on the fringe lead the movements.” - Dave Gibbons
• “When Jesus wipes away my tears, may he also wipe away my sweat.” - Wesley Stafford
• “When you don’t forgive, you allow people to live in you rent-free.” - Wesley Stafford
• “Someone who can look farther back can look farther forward.” - Winston Churchill
• “Maturity is coming to grips with your flaws.” - David Gergen
• “The age of the lone ranger leader is over.” - Warren Bennis
• “If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.” - Unknown/Disputed
• “Successful change begins with establishing an emotional connection with your followers.” - Chip & Dan Heath
• “In a time of change, failure is necessary.” - Chip & Dan Heath
• “Sometimes the comfortable thing to do is the wrong thing to do.” - Tony Blair
• “What are the consequences if I don’t lead to my fullest extent?” - Chris Genders

In my quest to run a half-marathon, I have begun reading various running magazines and books.  I have quickly discovered there is a whole new language I need to learn.  From muscles I’ve never heard of (but I’m supposed to be stretching) to running form & technique, the language of running is definitely foreign to me.

It made me wonder how foreign our language is in the church.  Do we use language that the average non-churched person would understand?  Are people sitting out in the audience confused and unfocused simply because we use words that - though familiar to us - are foreign to them?

Let me give you an example of a simple change in vernacular at Great Oaks.  We don’t use the term “elder.”  While it is a word that is understood by many church-going people, we are striving to eliminate the language barrier for people who have never stepped foot in a church.  We simply refer to that group of individuals as our Leadership Team.  Plain and simple…and understood by all.

Every tribe and every culture has a unique language.  Listen to accountants or Scout leaders or engineers talk - especially engineers - and you will discover a foreign language that includes numerous acronyms and code names.  And that’s fine for everyone who is a part of that sub-culture, but when your culture is intended to connect the unconnected…to unite every person who walks through the doors regardless of background or knowledge-base…you cannot afford to have a “secret” language.

If you are a pastor or church leader, take some time this week to pick up a magazine focused upon some topic you know nothing about.  See if you can understand what they are saying without referencing any other material.  Now go back and evaluate what you say on stage on Sunday morning.

Are there words you use that new people won’t understand?  Are there sub-ministries or retreat facilities you reference by name but don’t explain?  (e.g. “Culture Shift will be meeting at The Barn tonight at 6:30pm.”  What’s Culture Shift and where is The Barn?  New people don’t understand your language, so provide explanation or translation anytime you reference something like this.  “Culture Shift - our ministry to HS students - will be meeting at The Barn tonight.  The address for this off-site location is in your bulletins.”)

Do your best to eliminate the language barrier.

In his book The 360 Degree Leader, John Maxwell includes a brief synopsis of the two motivations that good leaders must balance.  The first is the motivation to fulfull their Vision.  The second is to see others succeed.

As a leader in the church commissioned with accomplishing the Vision through volunteers, these two motivations are realized even more fully.  In the church, I cannot lead through positional leadership - “you must do what I say because I am your boss and I control your paycheck.”  I must lead utilizing relational leadership - “I have earned your trust and respect now let me walk alongside you as we move into the future together.”

Relational leadership is about helping others succeed.  It is seeing the potential in people and helping them accomplish their realized and unrealized dreams.  It is adding value to their lives and celebrating their victories - both great and small.  And to be a great leader, you find ways to channel this individual success into organizational success.  You find ways to align individual’s dreams with your organization’s dreams.

When you are in a position where relational leadership is required, here are three questions those you lead are sub-consciously asking:

1. Can I trust you?
2. Do you have a passion for this?
3. Do you care about me as a person?

If you are attempting to be a relational leader, those you lead must be able to answer “Yes” to all three of these questions.  If they cannot, you are running the risk of being out-of-balance in your two motivations and of losing your leadership influence.